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Nilamadhab Kar

Nilamadhab Kar

I do not know
Your sorrows
Your pains and anguish
I wish I was there with you to share
To buffer your ventilations
To pull you out
From those sinking feelings
I do not know,
If you cried, or even could not cry
I cannot fathom
The spread and depth of the sea
From where your tears come
I do not know
The colours, those paint your sky
Or, is it blue always?
I do not know
How your feelings change
As they should, naturally
As the days grow old
And seasons wither,
Or they do not, at all
I know there are many untold stories
Buried within
Some you wish to share
Some you do not
There is no one to listen
Or you can confide with
For the lines you would like to share
There is no one…
But there are some stories
You do not want to share
You would like to take them with you
To your grave
Many you wanted to tell
Speak out, ventilate
Shout at the top of your voice
But refrained
You refrained
May be that’s right
Right for you
Some stories need to be buried,
Buried deep
Your heart is heavy
I’m sure
There are some stories
You’re taking with you
To your grave

Now that you are gone
It’s a relief.
I know you have gone, for ever
And you will not come back here
Ever, to our home
It may sound odd …
But it’s a relief
From all those tubes,
Pain and anguish
From my helplessness
Inability to see you suffer
Unbearable, unspeakable
Heaviness in my heart
It’s a relief
That you are no more in pain
Since you left
Nothing bothers me
I need no one
It’s time for me to be left alone
I’m learning
To live,…again
I sit quietly
Through the whole afternoon
Into the oncoming nights
Alone …
Still alive



Charanjeet Kaur

Lucha Corpi: In Conversation with Ketaki Datta
Mamang Dai: In Conversation with D Ramakrishna

Literary Essay
Sharad Chandra: ‘Theatre of the Absurd’

Literary Articles
Devika Karnad: ‘Lakshmi Kannan’s Going Home
Kaushik Acharya & Kiriti Sengupta: ‘Commentaries on The Gita
Shailja Chandra: ‘The Mona Lisa Phenomenon in Gulzar’s Writings’
Subhra Roy: ‘Re-reading Easterine Kire’s Bitter Wormwood
Tuhin Mukhopadhyay: ‘Anita Desai’s Voices in the City
Yogesh Kumar Negi: ‘Himachali Folk Music’

Book Reviews
Chandan Das – ‘A Certain Way
Manjinder Kaur Wratch – ‘Murder In Mahim
Nirojita Guha – ‘The Ocean of Churn
Rittvika Singh – ‘Baaz
Subashish Bhattacharjee – ‘And Gazelles Leaping’ & ‘Cradle of the Clouds
Tuhin Sanyal – ‘Dreams of the Sacred and Ephemeral
Wani Nazir – ‘Where are the Lilacs?’

Ambika Ananth: Editorial Comment
Ambika Ananth
Amrita Bhattacharyya
Anil Bairwal
Nilamadhab Kar
Parag Mallik
Rahul Jayaram
Shelton Pinheiro
Sunil Sharma
Swati Srivastava

Smitha Sehgal – ‘Editorial Musings’
Chandra Mohan Bhandari – ‘Himalayan Splendour’
Debasis Tripathy – ‘Convenient Friendship’
K Srinivasan Subramanian – ‘Tulasi has flowered’
Mohammad Shamsur Rabb Khan – ‘Old Man’s Fare’
Palak Sharma – ‘The Strange Journey’
Pragya Bhagat – ‘Portrait of an Old Man’
Shweta Tiwari – ‘His Love’
Sunaina Jain – ‘Lost and found’

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