1. HOW TO SHAVE OFF AGEISTS FROM YOUR SKIN
To reinforce the notion that I am weary,
An old man growing older for 34 worthless years,
I sometimes read what they write.
With each page of venom spat,
I add 100 years to my age
And shave, only when necessary.
2. SELF PORTRAIT
An underwear wet in cum,
Wetting the trousers.
A head full of things :
Songs, places, time.
A mouthful of bad taste
Blood in gums, broken
Tooth, ash, saliva.
A body that erodes.
A voice that breaks
Skin accumulates dust.
But the hurt does not rust.
Just a face in the crowd.
Not even an inch of art anywhere.
What else do we store in this library of secrets?
few cheesy love letters, lazy, naked weekends, dark-
-room, snoring dreams, like yours and
my remorse, intoxicants,
of a song
i use to
4. LOSING A HEADACHE
It starts from a corner of my skull
And spreads its black, dead clouds
Inside my head; my eyes ache,
Black smoke, between
Eyebrows- just where my nose
My throat aches,
My stomach tumbles.
Heatwaves on my neck
And I cannot face the light.
Tremors inside my body.
Tremors in my throat.
Everything that's inside
Like a storm, it cripples
My thought, suffocates my lungs,
Blinds my vision
Until I fall asleep. Deep.
And a fever leaves the house in sweat.
The headache is gone.
5. THE WAIT
When the assistant announced that he was leaving,
I remembered how I waited outside the doctor's chamber
With my parents, many years ago,
Just like this.
He took out his torch and umbrella as he
Asked me to switch off the fan
For I was the last one on the queue.
I remembered the games I invented back then.
The ants I counted, the empty passages of Silchar Medical College,
The flattened staircase for wheelchairs
And stretchers, through which I walked backwards
To kill time.
I would grow, with every tick of the clock.
Sitting alone now, on a weary evening
Years later, I realise
That my age has taught me to wait.
The memory too,
Lessens the pain.
Like the pain that measures
The size of my aching organs,
Life grips my throat and throws
Uncomfortable questions at me.
Sober again, I bleed in my disgust
Through silent screams. My mistakes, my follies
Now rage against me, they spread
Like burning lava over my empty skies.
Rage erodes body,
I forget to assess my vulnerability.
I list down my crimes. I turn to mediocrity
To make room for some magic.
Even that does not make much sense.
Now I can't even drink this reality away anymore
And flush it in with my morning urine.